Openness meeting

Submitted by Adoption on Wed, 12/19/2007 - 10:22pm

Today we had our openness agreement meeting at the agency. Dani and her mom were there. I'd pretty much talked to Dani about everything ahead of time, so there were no real surprises, but it was good to get everything out on the table with the couselors present and be sure we all had the same expectations. We are still planning to wait to name the baby until the hospital. Hopefully that goes well and we all agree on the name that fits her. Darren and I have a tough enough time agreeing on girl names, so Dani can be the third vote :) As far as visits go, she requested a minimum of six visits a year, which I thought was a good number. It seems realistic considering the distance, but hopefully we'll see each other more. She and her parents, too. They would like to stay in contact as well. I'm sure Dani will want to be around most of the time if we would visit them. But if we were going to the cities, we could certainly give them a call and stop by. As our daughter grows, we all hope that her birth family will be able to attend some of her events. And Dani hopes she'll be the right age to be flower girl at her wedding someday. We agreed that eventually sleepovers would be fun, but not until our daughter is old enough to request them. Hopefully Dani will have kids that she is raising by that time!

We were a little disappointed not to see Matt at the meeting. Although in hindsight it was probably a good thing to see Dani and her mom by themselves. We can always talk with Matt separately. He'll have a separate relationship with us anyway. I talked with him tonight and he doesn't have any specific requests. He knows we're open and he can see the baby whenever he wants. As of now he doesn't think it will be very often. He seems to be coping by distancing himself. That may change after he meets his little girl and it may not. Either way we hope he stays in touch to some extent so that the baby can know her birthdad. Then again, we should probably clarify what "not very often" means... to Matt that may mean six times a year. Hopefully we'll meet his parents soon after Christmas, but it sounds like all contact with that side of the bio family will go through Matt.

In other news, Dani had her 37 week doctor visit on Tuesday and nothing had changed. It still could be anytime. The doctor last week predicted another week to three more weeks, but didn't think Dani would make it to her January 11th due date. We'll see how accurate that doctor was. I plan on having bags packed!

On Friday we get to go to Maple Grove for dinner with Dani and her new boyfriend. We'll also get to meet Dani's dad! It'll be another big day! Hopefully we all click!

Milk totals: 18-20 oz/day, 535 oz frozen (I'm ready for a baby! The freezer is filling up fast!)